A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

I can't remember when I first saw Star Wars but I'm certain wasn't the year it came out at the cinema as I was 4 at the time. But at some point it came into my consciousness and as soon as I saw it on television I loved it.

It had everything a boy could want - space travel, laser guns and even better, light sabres. Who didn't want a light sabre?! I never got one but I did get a Luke Skywalker action figure, complete with retractable light sabre. It sort of lived in his arm, which I always thought was a bit odd, but hey, it wasn't the real Luke, even I knew that.

I have a feeling I didn't see The Empire Strikes Back in 1980 at the cinema either, but by the time Return of the Jedi came out in 1983 I was there, and cheering the brave little Ewoks onto victory. I thought they were kind of cool when I was 10 but looking back can't help thinking they were just the latest marketing opportunity for Lucasfilms. "Hey kids, who wants an Ewok for Christmas?"

After that it all went to shit, frankly. A Phantom Menace had Jar Jar Binks, quite the most irritating sidekick EVER and a computer generated one at that. Even the special effects were rubbish. Where they were once a bit clunky and cobbled together, they were now so polished that half the time it looked like a cartoon or a computer game. The plot, from what I remember of it, was all a bit forced and Ewan McGregor doing some sort of Alec Guinness impression was plain embarrassing. I watched the next instalment, Attack of the Clones and nearly passed out through boredom. And don't even get me started on Hayden Christensen. The script didn't help but he made The Children's Film Foundation actors look like Oscar winners. I still haven't got round to seeing the last one and I suspect I'll be underwhelmed as and when I inevitably do.

But let's focus on the original. A masterclass in storytelling, nothing too complicated, plenty of action, a genuinely evil bad guy not to mention that bit in the trash compactor with the giant snake under the water. How scary was that? Yikes.

It's on telly tomorrow afternoon (or today, depending on when you read this) so for more in-depth analysis on a Hollywood classic, have a look here.

The Rock (SF, day 9)

That is Alcatraz. Once literally no more than a rock, almost everything that exists on the 22 acre island was taken there by man, including a lot of the vegetation. Named 'La isla de los alcatraces' which translates as ' the island of the pelicans, Alcatraz never actually had any pelicans nesting on it and is one of those mistaken namings that just stuck.

Originally, Alcatraz Island served as a military fortification during the American Civil War, being the final point of defence in San Francisco Bay, after the Golden Gate entrance. As the years passed, it was used intermittently as a military prison and then in 1934 opened as federal prison. In its 29 year tenure, it housed such criminal luminaries as Robert "Birdman of Alcatraz" Stroud, George "Machine Gun" Kelly and most famously, Al "Scarface" Capone. The latter didn't complete his sentence there and was moved to a mainland prison as he was suffering from syphillis. The glamour of gangsters eh?

Despite the secure nature of the island (only five inmates are known to have escaped but their fate remains unknown), eventually the prison was closed down in 1962. Rising costs of upkeep and increasing levels of pollution in the bay from the island's raw sewage (eww) meant that President JFK saw fit to ship everyone back to dry land.

In November 1969, American Indians arrived on the island claiming it as their own. The plan was to build a cultural and learning centre and although this never came to pass - the occupation lasted only 19 months - it did pave the way for the native people of the US to fight successfully for land which was rightfully theirs in the future.

Today Alcatraz Island is a tourist attraction and is one of the Golden Gate National Parks. The audio tour is fascinating, which is more than can be said for life as an inmate. It has made me want to watch Escape from Alcatraz though.

All the photos of my day trip to 'The Rock' have been added to my San Francisco photo album here.

Food and shopping (SF, day 8)

Since moving into uptown San Fran, I have been doing some grocery shopping. The nearest decent supermarket is Whole Foods which is like the ones in the UK only bigger and more American. The staff all seem incredibly chilled out and happy, which is not something I'm used to but which certainly makes a refreshing change. When I was in there the other day there was an announcement over the loudspeaker system wishing "Jay a happy 21st birthday - we love you man!" You can't argue with that, can you?

As you might expect, everything is massive, from the fruit and veg themselves to the displays they're on. There is also a fascinating range of products (not to mention "pro-dooce") I've never heard of, most notably the buddha hand lemon (pictured above). I've no more idea than you about them, although they ought to be bloody good given the price.

Meanwhile in Walgreen's, a pharmacy, they have a section called 'Closet Needs'. I'm sure this is standard terminology over here but I couldn't help thinking that it was likely to be bras for men or oversized 'diapers' or something. In the end, I was giggling too much to go and check out what it actually meant.

Today, I finally fulfilled a lifelong ambition and bought a hot dog from a street vendor in the US. I had it with sauerkraut, spicy onions, ketchup and yellow mustard. It cost me "four dollars even" and was damn tasty. God bless America!

Wine country (SF, day 5)

It would be all wrong to come to California and not check out the local grapes so on Friday Garry drove me to Napa. The brilliance of this area is that it's all flat next to the sea and the chilly ocean breeze is channelled right up the valley where the grapes get a combination of hot sun and frosty nights. This does something wondrous to the fruit and bob's your uncle, top quality wine. There might be a little more to it than that but after all the tasting it's about as much as I can remember.

The third winery we went to was called Regusci and was run by a Welshman and and guy from Wolverhampton who really knew his stuff. Seems the bigger the bottle, the better the wine. Again, I can't remember why - less air per volume of wine? - but it wasn't just flannel to get us to buy big since he wouldn't let us pay for the $40 worth of wine we tasted.

I've added more photos to the online album here.

Friendly locals (SF, day 3)

I went for a walk this afternoon - and the beauty of coming to a new city is that every little outing is a voyage of discovery. Anyway, on the first corner there was a photo opportunity so I sat down and took a photo.

As I was sitting there enjoying the view, a woman in a car driving past me said, "Would you like me to take a photograph of you?" I didn't, really, so I thanked her and she moved on. Now, This struck me as quite remarkable. If she'd been walking past then I would simply have thought she was being friendly and helpful. But to offer when she was driving seemed above and beyond the call of duty. Not that I'm complaining, far from it, it made me warm to San Fran even more. I'm just fairly sure you wouldn't get that in the UK. I've no idea whether it's an American thing, a California thing or a San Francisco thing. Or maybe it was just random. Whatever it is, I like it.

I took a few more pics in and around Pacific Heights, the park at Presidio and along Broadway, where there's a dizzying variety of architecture. You can see them all in my online album here.

The Bay Area (SF, day 1)

So here I am in San Francisco, or as the locals (and Garry) call it, the Bay Area. I've been before but I was too young to drink alcohol last time so made up for it last night with some local pinot noir courtesy of the MacMurray winery which was established in the 1940s by actor Fred MacMurray, perhaps best known for his role as Walter Neff in the classic film noir Double Indemnity. Film noir, pinot noir. I don't just throw this together you know.

Looking forward to some ridiculously huge portions of food today, I was delighted to see that my host had a 1.05kg box of Special K Red Berries and a gallon bottle (bottle? tank maybe) of milk. For those not familiar with 'foreign' measurements, a gallon is the equivalent of 60 pints! Roughly.

Garry's apartment block has a roof terrace from which a rather famous structure can be seen. Still think it's badly named, mind.

From his front balcony this is the view. I do like the way they tend to dispense with the 'Street' or 'Road' on the signs. All very tidy and unfussy. I also enjoyed saying I was in an Italian café called Espresso Roma "on Fillmore" earlier.

As you might expect of a seaside location, there are a lot of seagulls around but for some reason I found them particularly photogenic today. They're also pretty tame so you can get up close, always handy for the amateur snapper without a huge lens.

Fisherman's Wharf is the tourist trap of the area but I had to have a look. One of the piers has loads of stinking sea lions lolling about on it. Not sure which one though. I mean, they might think about labelling things clearly for us forringers.

At the lower end of Lombard, it's pretty steep so I stopped halfway up to take my customary flower shot. No idea what it is. [Edit: Mum tells me it's bougainvillea - thanks Mum!]

The top end of Lombard is known as 'the world's crookedest street, designed so that cars can drive down it despite the steep incline. It looks better when the flora is in full bloom but it's still a crazy old road.

After all this exertion I popped into Nick's Crispy Tacos and had what they didn't advertise as the world's least crispy taco. Honestly, I've seen jelly more crispy. Still, it tasted pretty good and I'm looking forward to some more Mexican cuisine soon.

If you're not too seagull averse and want to see the rest of today's pics, you can do so here.

Science fiction cosmetics

It's been a while since I took notice of shampoo ads. Back when I still had hair to wash, there was something called Fructis which I found a bit sticky. Perhaps unsurprising, since I think it actually had some kind of fructose in it. But that's the last time I heard of anything remotely natural or even actually existing going into a health and beauty product. These days it's all Regenium this and Nutrileum that. Actually, that not strictly true. Check the ingredients of virtually any product and the first one is almost always 'Aqua'. I suppose calling it what it really is, i.e. water, might alert people to the dull reality.

So what are these other made-up ingredients? A look at the L'Oreal website offers no answers whatsoever. For further information on the products, you're invited to contact them, but that page simply says "Because of the very high number of students' questions we receive, we are unable to respond to direct requests. All documentation relevant to our company is available..." at another website, where there is also no sign of any information, just more marketing blurb.

I was looking at my Nivea For Men Extreme Comfort shaving gel and noticed that it has 'Natural Micro Tec'. Is there anything less natural sounding than the word 'tec'? What is it? There's no explanation anywhere, just a green pixellated leaf next to the words. It gets stranger. Directions for use are as follows:

• Dispense a hazelnut-sized amount of gel on your palm
• Massage directly on wet face

First of all, hazelnut? Secondly, why is it 'your palm' but simply 'wet face'? Is it not necessarily your face? Can you massage the gel onto someone else's wet face? Maybe they don't want to alienate the barber's market.

Up, up and away!

So yeah, I sort of lost track of time and forgot when I could tell you what I thought of Up, the new animated offering from those clever kids at Disney Pixar. It's brilliant! Go and see it NOW! Well, not right now. Read the rest of this post first, at least.

I know someone who thinks it's the saddest film of all time but while there is a very touching montage at the beginning it's crucial in setting up what's come. And what comes afterwards is a wonderful, colourful adventure, part-environmental message, part-Indiana Jones story with great characters and one of the best scripts of the year. I laughed all the way through it and I can't say that about many comedies. Oh, and don't worry if you don't see it in 3D - you won't lose out that much. You can read Screenjabber's official review of Up here.

Also hilarious but entirely unintentionally is The Spell, a woeful attempt to blend social realism and demonic possession. Imagine if you will Mike Leigh being told to direct The Exorcist and then having all of his filmmaking skills removed and his brain replaced with sun-hardened dog vomit. Honestly, this really does have to be seen to be disbelieved. I almost want to recommend it so that you can share my pain and laughter but that would most likely involve you parting with your hard-earned cash and frankly, I wanted my money back and I saw it for free. Execrable.

To prove that low-budget British films can be excellent we have Katalin Varga, the first feature from director Peter Strickland. Set and shot in Transylvania and in Romanian and Hungarian with English subtitles, this in unlikely to get as broad a release as it deserves because apparently people can't be bothered to read. This really bugs the hell out of me and only serves to creates a snobbery about 'foreign' films that isn't really there. I don't know about you but I like films that are actually good, no matter what language they're in, and this thought-provoking story about revenge and morality is a fascinating story, expertly told. It's also a feast for the ears and eyes.

Now out on DVD is In The City Of Sylvia which I mentioned when it came out at the cinema. It's far and away the most experimental film I've seen all year and although thoroughly odd in a lot of ways, is also very interesting. Worth a look if you're feeling brave. Also hitting the small screen is the marvellous Is Anybody There? starring Michael Caine. It's funny, moving and undoubtedly one of the best British films of the year with a great cast of young and not so young talent. Meanwhile, Cherry Blossoms is at least as moving but without nearly as many laughs. It's a German film, set partly in Japan and is a beautiful if slow-moving family drama. You'll need to be in the right mood for this one although I still haven't figured out quite what mood.

Altogether more upbeat is the brilliantly bonkers 12 Rounds, an action thriller with way more brawn than brains. I went into this screening imagining it might be some sort of boxing film and not even having heard of the star John Cena. So with low expectations I was pleasantly surprised to be gripped throughout despite some hopeless acting, not helped by a worse script. But it was a hell of a lot of fun so if you want to disengage your brain for a couple of hours, this is perfect.

Finally, Screenjabber has started podcasting! I think it will be every month to begin with and then every week once we get into the flow. The first one is a bit shaky but with a presenter from Absolute Radio and a stand-up comedian involved, as well as some knowledgeable film fans I'm sure we'll improve quickly. I'm not in this inaugural edition but hope to be involved soon.